Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Mothers Day gift of perspective...

I've found that there are certain days, during the year, that just naturally trigger the impulse to take stock of different aspects of my life. The obvious ones are New Years and birthdays. Since having the schnitz almost 3 years ago, Mothers Day has been added to the list. While it is a great day for dwelling on how very happy I am to be a mother, especially to one of the world's coolest little guys, it also makes me ponder whether or not I'm actually doing a good job. I don't know about the rest of you, but my answer on this changes day by day and minute by minute.


However, we had the coolest guest speaker in church this morning. She is the mother of 6 children and grandmother to (almost) 12. Once all of her kiddos were out of the house, she and her husband became very involved in mission work through our church and have been to Africa (Niger and Burkina Faso) twelve times in the past three years. They've had a very up close and personal look at how parenting transpires in vastly different circumstances. Talk about someone you can count on to know what she's talking about! She used the word "Perspective" as an acrostic which I really like because I have a much easier time remembering the material. I decided to post my notes from her talk since I figured that I might not be the only one who would be able to appreciate what she shared. Oh and just a few pictures of the schnitz over the years since he's the one who made me a mama in the first place (and because it's fun to take a little trip down memory lane;-)


Praise what you think is really important.
  • Try to avoid telling your child that they are the "best" because then they have no where to go but down! Instead, focus on what you really want to highlight such as, "You worked so hard, I'm very proud of you".


How on earth is it possible that he was ever this tiny??

Expect a lot of them and set your expectations of what you want them to be.

  • E.g., Self sufficient and independent.
I had so much fun hanging out with the schnitz in New Orleans and he found the powdered sugar pretty entertaining too!:-)

Respond with grace.

  • When it's tempting to ignore this one, just spend a few moments pondering the incredible grace showered on you by your Heavenly Father on a regular basis.

Shower them with warmth and affection.
I'm not sure if this bunny ever recovered from the "love and affection" he was showered with by the schnitz;-)

Perceive who God made them to be.

  • He created them with unique characteristics, personalities and gifts, as well as weaknesses. It is your job to encourage those strengths and work to overcome their weaknesses.
If God can create such beauty in the world, why not in our kids?:-)

Encourage gratitude by letting them experience deprivation first hand, not just by observing it.

  • As much as we would like to think that children will automatically learn gratitude by receiving, that's just not how it works. Human nature is to take as much as you can get and then ask for more. The speaker noted that the people of Niger, the world's poorest country five years ago, are some of the most gracious and grateful people she's ever met.
Cut the ties as they grow.

  • For those of us with little ones, this seems a bit far in the future. But, we need to remember that this is an ongoing process from day one and exactly how God intended for things to be. Our job is to do our best to prepare them for an independent life where their dependence is on God and themselves, not us.
Teach them that there is a God, but they are not Him!
  • Remember that life does not revolve around your child(ren) and/or their extracurricular activities.
Invest your time in your kids.
  • The yield on this investment is incredible!
Value their character, not their accomplishments.
  • The character traits they develop will affect their future far more than any of the other things.
Eliminate doubt about your ability to be a good parent.
  • Even if your childhood experiences were less than ideal, you can give what you never received. God as your Heavenly Father is and always has been a perfect parent and can fill in the gaps where you have a need.
Rusty with his first and one of his favorite friends, Damien. It has been so much fun watching them grow (they're only two weeks apart in age and he lives just across from us)!

I hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I did! Have a wonderful and blessed Mothers Day and keep up the good work!:-)

2 comments:

amy luella said...

what a great reflection on the heart of good parenting (with precious photos--my favorite is the family with the little guy in the backpack=)). this is a keeper, a great one to look back on time and again.=)

Janice said...

So I'm just now getting caught up on my blog reading! I love your notes and pictures and reflection on the last 3 years. So precious! I like your new blog format too! (Can you tell it's been a while?)